Discipline

Avoid shouting.

Overuse diminishes effectiveness. Shouting in every reprimand defeats the purpose. It only serves to exacerbate negative emotions and instil fear. One day they’ll shout back. And shouting battles are pointless.

Do not swear or display violence.

This is never the way, and only reflects poorly on yourself. Your lack of self-control, over many occurrences, will teach them that this is normal. Rather than instilling fear and hatred, using compassion and understanding to show them why something was wrong is so much more effective and long-lasting.

Do not spam rhetorical questions.

In a reprimand they often have a terrible tone. They only serve to make them feel worse, and question themselves.

Do not pointlessly repeat yourself.

Repetition reinforces, but repeated repetition reduces. If they get it, they get it, and repeating will not make it any firmer, just accelerate zoning out.

Do not stray from your point.

They can only absorb so much information. Littering a reprimand with unrelated or irrelevant points detracts from its effectiveness and undermines the important arguments.

Do not say things you don’t truly mean.

Vicious words let loose in the heat of a reprimand cause long-lasting hurt and shame. Sometimes, they cannot be taken back. Repeated exposure risks alienation. Personal attacks leveraging insecurities are unacceptable.

Do not be a hypocrite.

You want change? You set an example first. Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.

Do not mock anyone.

Childish.

Do not make permanent decisions over temporary feelings.

Should you then retract those decisions, you lose credibility and respect. Empty threats, while intimidating at first, quickly lose significance and insinuate incompetency.

Do not speak in absolutes.

Absolute points intimidate but are almost never true. Absolute threats intimidate at first but are almost never followed through. Speaking in absolutes reflects narrow thinking, losing you respect and credibility.

Let them speak.

There is nothing worse than being helplessly silenced, unable to fight back for yourself. If they feel the need to, let them raise a point.

Do not drag it long for longer than necessary.

They can only focus for so long. The longer you drag it on for, the less they’ll absorb and remember. It’s also an abject waste of time.

Do not overdo it.

Overuse diminishes effectiveness. Do not let reprimands become the norm. Once they stop arguing back, you’ve broken them. Once they automatically tune you out, you’ve lost them.