I don’t think I have anything especially novel to contribute, but I have a mush of thoughts that I thought I’d etch in text, as a snapshot of how they currently are in time.
Time, eh?
It sneaks by you. Bringing with it change – little by little, unnoticeable, but surely there.
It’s scary, really. I look back, even as short a period as 6 months, and I wonder, “Am I even the same person?”
It’s scary, I vowed to not lose the child in me, and yet... sometimes I wonder if, if I forget to pay attention... I might silently drift away from that child. The thought terrifies me. Or more generally, the idea of qualitative change; we’re always changing, after all. We become more X, less Y. But sometimes we become X and lose Y.
It’s scary, change. We just want things to stay the same, don’t we? And it’s terrifying when you don’t have a baseline to fall back on. As we go through life, we check off milestones of life – school, university, job, family – and at each stage, I can’t help but feel sorrowful that I can never relive what came before. Life has so many firsts, but it also so many lasts.
It’s all part of life, ofc.