no cold without the warmth
no tears without the care
no fall without the rise
no without you there.
your trace I trace
your touch I touch
your gaze I gaze
but it’s never enough
and they’re thinking these words
and they’re thinking the worst
and they’re thinking the first
intrusion that prophesies what we now see
and as our wonderings frantically flutter
each realisation only serves to feed
into the inevitable, crushing arrival of the utter
AGONY.
what can I do but curl and scream
until the only feeling that remains
carved in flesh, through hopeless dreams
is endless, boundless, infinite pain.
in sleep we search for peace
but all we find are pieces
of you,
of us,
of who you were,
of who we were,
forever resting in frozen dark
beside the remnants of a broken heart.
you poisoned me with dopamine
and the memories of you are choking me
make it stop,
please,
please,
please,
in your wake you leave
a
and as I wake I feel
and wide awake I bleed
until I can bleed no more,
and side awake I tear,
until I can tear no more,
and I close out the sorrows
until I can bear no more,
and tsurugi slices us open hollow
to lavish us in suffering to the core
segfault in the heart
stackoverflow in the mind
catalysis ’cross all parts
neutralisation in the eyes
singularity in the soul
annihilation of the whole
emptiness gnaws away from within,
and we exist, but we do not
for all we feel in every inch of skin
is the pain of something beautiful lost.
no sadness greater than losing yourself,
no sound harsher than the silence of loss.
in time the world returns to as it was before
and in this solitude the night bleeds into day
inside we stow and guard our one last mourn,
the dying whisper of a fragile thought:
“stay.”
(14 – 28 February 2026)